Ije Ndu - The Journey of Life

Hi guys, it's been a minute. Wow, I can't believe it's been months I wrote any blog. Now what kind of blogger does that make me :-)

So what's on my mind? I've titled today's blog The Journey Of Life (Ije Ndu)............... I really hope this captures my thoughts.

This life is such a journey. Along the way you meet people who make the journey easy for you to navigate but then you also meet people who make life so unbearable it's annoying. We have heard the phrase Experience Is The Best Teacher; yes I agree but then experience is not the only teacher. Why can't you be a teacher, teach what you can and allow experience to teach the rest.

Oh no, some people want you to experience it all. Especially the negative parts. I would cite a couple of examples. Let's start with the work place, in matters as simple as project management, you find senior managers who have knowledge to transfer which would make it easier for the new recruit to settle in to their new role. But would they teach effectively? Noooo. Just because it took them 12 years to make manager they want you to spend 12, possibly 13 years to also get there.

Even in ministry, we are the body of Christ. Would it be so difficult for a Pastor that has experience to guide a younger Pastor on how to navigate the terrain. Hmm, Pastor would possibly be thinking "This small boy will just steal my sheep". What!!! If you serve good grass your sheep would remain with you till Jesus comes.

Should I even talk on the matter of immigration. Haaa!!! This is a big one. No one ever tells you the truth. They really want you to come and suffer like they did. Haa haa haa. Per adventure you some in and rise to the top much faster than they did and they now look like grade one m.u.m.u (Ask my Naija brothers what this lingo means). God forbid you are able to achieve in five years the same thing that has taken them twenty years to achieve. Help a sister or brother out. Tell them the things to avoid, tell them what has worked for you. Then leave them to make their own decisions. I remember when I relocated to Mzanzi, most of what I was told was "Trust God", like I was an unbeliever. Heh heh heh. Be real, tell me the truth and leave me to decide.

And then to the topic that really inspired today's blog. Death! Widows! Have you ever observed the way widows are treated in our part of the world? It's so horrible. What is more annoying is when you hear the older widows justify the treatment by saying "I went through it so you will be fine". Like seriously? I have to go through... just because you also went through. No way.

What gives you the right to take everything a woman has worked hard with her husband to acquire? What even gives you the right to decide small matters like where he should be buried, when he should be buried, what food must be served, who must do this, that or the other? Did you live with them or sleep in the same bedroom as they did?

You do not even give this woman time to mourn her husband properly because she's spending all her waking moments fighting battles she should not be fighting.

Oh, and then comes the shaving of hair? For what now?

It's those husbands that journey to the great beyond without consideration for their wives that I blame. Even if you have just been married for two days you have the responsibility to change every single document and make wifey your next of kin. Ok, so you do not trust her enough, then why did you get married to her? Change those documents now my brother. Delay is dangerous. Even if you are of the WhatsApp group that say "I am poor, I do not have any property".............. Uncle, simply state that all your earthly possessions should go to your wife. You never know if your death would come as a result of the excitement of winning a billion dollars and then, boom it would be too late. Haa haa haa...... death from too much money.

Seriously though men, how can you trust your estate to your siblings and not your wife. Who would then take care of your children if you are blessed with any.

As for you women, please do not sit around and wait for an inheritance from your hubby or father. This dependency is what makes people treat you like the shrimp at the bottom of the food chain. Be your own person, own your own property (I did not say build a house and and rent it out to your hubby through an agent oh, I can't shout).

Leave an inheritance to your children and your children's children. Be the woman that every man desires. Take away that dependency mentality, that's what is killing us. When you call the shots, your in-laws will respect you. And it's not just about money shots, it's about using your brain too.

Hmm, so it seems I digressed a bit. Let's get back to the way we treat ourselves. It's been said that your light does not go dim by lighting someone else. Share information, it will not reduce you or take your shine away. For me o, I pride myself for being an information bank. When I get information I share. Anyone who knows me well knows this about me. The more I share the more I desire to know. It brings me much joy when I see people liberated from simple matters that I can give support to.

So as a parting shot, experience is the best teacher, we know..... But you can also teach. Make the journey of this life easier for the next person.

Ok, till I pull myself to write again, be kind, make like a tad bit easier for the next person.

Remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram, our handle remains ije_journey. Much love.

Ije..... Journey

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash