Ije Igba Nkwu Nwanyi - The Journey of Marriage

After last week's blog I am fully convinced that my Naija people are all foodies. Kai, it's been interesting just reading comments on various platforms.

So what's up for today - Ije Igba Nkwu Nwanyi basically refers to the Journey of a Traditional Marriage of a woman. For my people once this is done you are married. Going to church for a "White Wedding" is a thing of choice except you have Christian parents who would insist.

Many of my brother get married late because no one will help you oh. You want to marry, pay the bill. Unlike some other cultures where it is "Tiwan Tiwa" (no tribe mentioned oh, I can't even shout). So you see a man only getting ready for marriage when he is 45 years young. Hmm..... These are the ones that use pension to buy diapers.

How did I even get here. Haa haa haa.

Now to my brothers in the abroad, they fall into many categories. Let's see..... First there are the ones that will marry wife for their mothers with no intention of carrying them to the abroad with them. So they only visit home once a year to get wifey pregnant, come back when the baby has grown teeth to plant another baby and go back again to the abroad. Hian. The purpose of this wifey is just to have babies to carry on the family name, help Mama fetch firewood, cook family food. For the ones in the city, their major job is to be the one collecting Western Union to distribute to other relatives not so fortunate to know what Western Union is. Haa Haa Haa

Now, to the next set, these are the abroad husbands that don't even bother coming home for the marriage. Family will just set a nice photograph of the supposed husband on top of a chair, the wifey will drink the wine and give to the uncle (Most times this unculu will look for a way to lay claim to wifey's bed as per the one who drank the wine - story for another day). The interesting thing about this set of abroad husbands is that they end up looking different from the photo on the chair - perhaps shorter, balder, fatter, rounder, taller, even older. Hmm, Ije Nwanyi. Sometimes the wifey in this story may join oga in the abroad or just remain a village wife forever. Some do not mind after all the Benjamins are being sent back regularly.

Then there are those abroad husbands who have paper wife in the abroad (Phone a friend if you don't know what paper wife is), unfortunately for him he's at that point where Mama can never imagine having Shaniqua as a daughter in-law. How will she even pronounce the name sef. So Mama proceeds to marry a local wifey on her son's behalf. One visit home and abroad husband is enthralled, gets wifey pregnant, even tries to take wifey to the abroad but this journey is usually accompanied by an entire undergraduate module. "Nne if they ask you, tell them you are my 5th cousin from my mother's side". "Where we are going, my name if Johnny and not Eddy".

Haa Haa Haa, don't worry I'm even tired of myself at this point.

Then there are those abroad husbands that remain bachelors on paper all the days of their life. Married? To Who? When? Why? You can never find a wedding band on their finger oh, even as an example or a trial ring. For what? So these ones live their lives as free as the bird in the sky.

Of course there are the straight and narrow abroad husbands oh. 6 out of 10 these times these husbands married their wives back home and relocated before them, with them or after them. These ones are a delight to be married to. But what fun are these ones, no juicy gist in this WhatsApp group joor.

We are entering the first part of this season for wife hunting - August meeting. August meeting is an entire mood on it's own where women from all works of life come home to the village just to meet, eat, gossip and possibly wife hunt. COVID-19 looks like it's stopping August meeting 2020 from being great, just imagine. Let me know in the comment box if you're missing August meeting this year because of COVID.

Tis is when wives gather and scope young daughters for their abroad sons so that by December marriage is done oh. Kai, how will 2020 marriages be contracted now? I wonder. Anyway, we shall not lose hope, photos can still be shared to aid the marriage decision but whatever happens, December abroad marriages must still happen.

We shall still talk about those December journeys. August is also New Yam Festival month. Do you celebrate New Yam Festival in your village? My culture is 'sweet' I will love to take you on many journeys in the village.

So while I think about what to write about next Thursday, please help me greet that abroad husband who is your neighbour. Daalu o. How market? Leave a comment below if you have an abroad husband that you know, or a local wife who has finished her Ije Igba Nkwu Nwanyi but her oga is in the abroad without her. Our stories never end. Heh heh heh.

Don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram, our handle is ije_journey.

Ije......Journey

Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash